Tuesday, October 18, 2005

distance makes the heart grow

Cheesier.... in the 48 hours back from my first trip 'out east' (Montreal-Fredricton-Halifax-Quebec City-Montreal) I've realised that the buses and trains in Vancouver are purdy damn great. If I got a shirt from my time in Montreal printed it would say, "I heart Montreal, but the Metro's ass."

While I dug the 'Main' and ruddy Hochalaga areas, the poutine and sassy middle aged francophone waitresses I missed good old translink while exploring Canada's 'City of Sin'. Before I start the 'why the metro sucks' list, I'll briefly outline why I'd move to Montreal in a smoked meat minute:

1) poutine & cheese plates - can you say, "Thank god for stretchy pants!" If you stay for any amount of time in Montreal you're bound to either start or end the night with cheese and lots of it.
2) the incredible niceness of being - maybe there was ecstasy in the water the days we were there but, seriously, people are back bendingly nice. Start off in your broken Western Canadian French and all of the sudden they are giving you the most detailed directions or recommending somewhere better.
3) micro-brew Quebec beer - especially the selection at "la barbarie" near little Italy on St. Laurent
4) the clothes - even the Quebecois Zellers/Bay equivalent, Simon's, is cooler than out west. Think a cheap, French winners.
5) the blatant cool Euro-Cancuck ethos - if Montreal doesn't make you proud of being from Canada, you probably still wear stirrup pants and feather your bangs.
6) Old Montreal - cobblestone streets, coffee shops, the outdoor market hints at London, Amsterdam
7) the pot - everywhere you walk you smell it. Looking for a BC surrogate? Go to Montreal.
8) the servers - there are a lot of lifers there. They're good. They're mostly bilingual and they can rattle off the menu while exhaling cigarette smoke through their nose and barking at another table.
9) the drivers. crazy. fast. - a really good excuse to not have a car and get to know the Haitian/Quebecois/Rwandan/Congolese taxi drivers of the city.
10) French Canadian cougars - go to Jell-o Bar on any given Saturday when R'N'B staple the Freddie James Project is playing and you'll see the creme de la multicultual greyhair of Montreal's cougars. Bring on the gold spandex, blonde hair extensions and boho halter tops. Oi vai - in a good way.

Now that I think of it the Metro is not that bad. Its hot and dirty. One of our hosts told us each station was designed by a different Montreal architect. I think they all looked the same except maybe for the for the varying colours and tiles of 1970s tile jobs. The turnstiles nearly killed me a couple times. All in all no elbows were thrown a la Broadway and Commercial, a minimal amount of sketchy meth heads and practically no security. I think I can stand a little Metro if it means I get to explore the belly of Montreal.